


Binary

by berryrhink



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Multiple A/U's, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:26:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryrhink/pseuds/berryrhink
Summary: Based on Ear Biscuits #127- Rhett and Link finally break free of The Simulation.
Relationships: Rhett McLaughlin/Link Neal
Comments: 25
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

Los Angeles looked dreary that evening. The streets were shrouded in the dwindling light of a late dusk, and a gentle mist fell on the shared SUV. Rhett stared out of the tinted window as Link drove, seemingly oblivious to the conversation Link had been trying to initiate. 

"Where are you, man?" Link finally asked after a lengthy pause. 

He had been attempting to nail down the little details of the video they were shooting the next day, but Rhett had been unnervingly reserved since the morning's commute. Link glanced up at the traffic light just as the rain began to fall harder, the sky deepening to a moody velvet purple. The Merle Haggard playlist Rhett chose for the drive played gently in the background, and the twangs of the guitar paired with the pulsing rain reminded Link of the summer thunderstorms of their youth. He opened his mouth to tell Rhett as much, but decided he did not care to be the one to break their shared silence. The traffic light remained a stoic, unwavering red, and Link looked fixedly at the side of Rhett's face, willing him to say something.

Rhett finally looked up and met Link's gaze, a softness in his expression that took Link by complete surprise. 

"Pull over," Rhett breathed, pulling his hand through his dense golden curls. "Please."

Link took the next available right turn into an overgrown and abandoned Walgreens parking lot. The only street light nearby flickered as they pulled in, illuminating the growing puddles and faded paint. After a moment of consideration, Link drove around to the back of the emaciated building, out of sight of the main road and parked in the now forgotten pharmacy drive-thru lane.

He pondered what to do with the keys. Should he turn off the car, shroud them in darkness and cut off the music, to allow whatever words Rhett clearly desperately needed to say to fill the space? Would it be better to leave the car running and let the gentle chords of Merle keep them grounded? Link bit his lower lip and decided to let the song play, but turned off the engine. He glanced over at Rhett, hoping he felt the same.

Rhett, surprisingly, was looking back at Link with dewey eyes and a tight lipped smile. Tears still weren't something Link was accustomed to from Rhett, and without a moment of hesitation, Link extended his hand and let his fingers rest gingerly on Rhett's bare forearm. At the moment of contact, Rhett closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, but made no motion to wriggle away from the touch.

"Look, I-" Link began, the concern evident in his cracking voice.

"No, " Rhett interrupted, opening his eyes once more. The previous deweyness was replaced now by something entirely foreign to Link, and Rhett angled his torso so he was facing Link as much as he could in the tight space. Rhett reached down and unbuckled his seatbelt, then did the same to Link's. Link felt as though his entire body might burst into flame from anticipation.

"I'm about to say something wild. I have to tell you something that is going to make you question my sanity, but I swear man, I'm still here. I'm not crazy. You have to promise me you're not gonna commit me," Rhett finally said, never taking his eyes off of Link's.

For a fleeting moment, Link considered laughing. He could never think of Rhett as actually insane, let alone commit him, but there was such intensity in the way Rhett spoke now that he knew any giggle was out of the question. Instead, he nodded, trying to hide a growing trepidation.

"Say you promise."

"I promise."

As Rhett spoke, Link finally understood why he had needed the opening disclaimer. The more Rhett talked, the more Link thought that perhaps he shouldn't have promised anything so readily.

"Thank you," Rhett had exhaled after Link's guarantee, an unspoken barrier dropping between them. They had been off kilter for the better part of the month, but that wasn't uncommon for two people who had been friends as long as they had. The ebb and flow of their companionship was something both men knew well.

"Okay, here it is. I need you to think back to January, the Ear Biscuit we did on The Simulation," Rhett started, breaking their eye contact and twisting to look out the window behind him. He scanned the parking lot slowly, craning his neck to look behind the car.

Link, for his part, remembered that episode well. He had held Rhett's hand in it, a more frequent occurrence as they aged, but still something he was hesitant towards. In what Link considered to be a particularly comical bit, Rhett had insisted that the way to break free of The Simulation was to hold hands and speak the same exact sentence at the same time. It would work as long as they both believed it would- they had, of course, remained steadfastly planted in their chairs, and Rhett had accused Link of not believing hard enough. 

"I remember," Link spoke delicately, still unsure where Rhett was going. He felt a slight twinge of guilt hit when he realized Christy had probably expected him home 20 minutes ago, and he reached for his phone to send her a text. No signal.

"Your phone won't work anymore," Rhett said in a small voice, barely above a whisper. He reached out for Link again, resting his enormous hand on Link's shoulder. Rhett's glassy eyes pleaded with Link.

"I need you to think carefully, now. Really, really consider this, okay? Since that episode, have you noticed anything different?" 

Link had felt many things since recording that podcast: anger, disgust, grief, joy, hatred, and love- but his predominant emotion had been confusion. His life had grown stranger and stranger to him, but the pragmatist in him believed it had just been yet another side effect of middle age to add to a growing list. All 41 year olds felt like aliens on foreign planets, he was sure of it.

Of course, there were some peculiarities. 

His electronics were constantly dying on him, an expensive and highly annoying new life development. The birds always seemed to be singing songs he knew and loved- two days prior, a raven had perched outside of his shower and gave a pitch-perfect performance of _Smoky Mountain Rain_ by Ronnie Milsap. He had the house tested for a gas leak immediately after.

When Link saw a pedestrian's shirt change from deep crimson to mustard yellow in the blink of an eye, he had thought it was just too many late nights. When he pushed the grocery cart down an aisle in Whole Foods and suddenly found himself transported to a lively seafood market in Italy, he had closed his eyes and chided himself for drinking too much coffee. Thankfully, Whole Foods returned just as quickly as it had dissipated. He swore he had seen Mrs. Locklear a handful of times in his peripheral vision, but when he turned, she was never there.

Link always had a natural gift for compartmentalization, and he found he was particularly thankful for that skill these days. Every oddity and quirk Link encountered, he filed away in the recesses of his mind to be considered at a later date. But for now, there were videos to film, books to write, shows to pitch, and a full life to live. 

Or at least, he thought there had been.

  
  
"Please, Link. Answer me. I need to know."

Rhett was looking expectantly at him, the simultaneous patience and exhaustion evident in his deep green eyes. With those eyes locked onto his own, all the doubt and uncertainty Link had felt bubbled to the surface. He couldn't keep it all burrowed away, couldn't continue to pretend like he was just overworked and getting older. Why had he ever thought he needed to go through this by himself? No, he thought, as he reached out for Rhett's hand- he had to come clean. 

"Yes." Link whispered finally. His hand rested on top of Rhett's, and he squeezed lightly. Link had said one syllable, and a meek one at that, but Rhett exhaled heavily, the relief instantaneous. He no longer had to carry the shared burden of this secret alone.

Link drew small, gentle circles with his thumb on the back of Rhett's hand, and the soft gesture comforted them both. They sat like that for a few moments, holding hands and listening to the sounds of Merle and the growing storm they had sought shelter from. 

“Tell me everything,” Link finally said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

And so Rhett began.

Evidently, alerting the known universe that you are aware of the simulation and that you want out isn’t enough to break free, but it was certainly enough to shatter the film that had covered Rhett and Link’s perceived reality. The glitches, as Rhett had come to understand them, had started off minimal enough for him: colors changed, names were altered, items disappeared. He discovered, much to his alarm, that peaches no longer existed in this fragmented world. Rhett would occasionally sit down to a meal, only to realize mid-bite that everything on the plate had changed. Every steak he’d ordered over the past year had turned into buttered carrots and peas, a development that confounded and frustrated him. 

All Rhett could do was throw himself headfirst into nights of endless, exhaustive research. It comforted him when nothing else seemed to: if he just reached farther and looked hard enough, he would find a way to repair what he and Link had damaged. Rhett was certain Link was experiencing the glitches too, that he was feeling the same desperation and loneliness that comes with a world you no longer recognize as your own- and Rhett wouldn't stop until he figured out a way to fix it.

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday when Rhett found the blog. 

He had started on his usual first site- the subreddit for glitches in the matrix. He clicked through the typical stories, the one-off incidents that, while he still found interesting, paled in comparison to what he had experienced. No one reported seeing more than one glitch, let alone multiple in one day. The strange happenings were growing more frequent, and Rhett sensed the universe was trying to tell him that he needed an answer, quickly. He clicked hyperlink after hyperlink, and just as he had begun to give up hope, there it was- on an article about the matrix and Elon Musk, a comment left by a reader.

'Check this blog for a real simulation experience!'

There were no more details, no name, just a solid blue link. Rhett clicked anyway, thanking himself silently for remembering to update his antivirus software.

It was an old LiveJournal, written by a young woman named Amy. She was 28, a grad student at MIT who had fallen madly in love with her classmate, Eric. Amy wrote about her feelings for him, her discoveries at MIT, and her struggles to feel like she belonged in her male-dominated studies. She often wrote about The Simulation and her thoughts on how we had all come to exist inside the giant supercomputer that was the universe. Rhett liked her immediately.

Amy's last blog post was about an evening she had spent with Eric. They debated for hours whether The Simulation could be the ultimate truth, and if it was, exactly how they could escape from it. Eric had hypothesized that the only way would be an enormous amount of energy, only equivalent to that of a thousand nuclear reactions. Amy had clearly thought about it for some time, and she laid out her ornate theory eloquently: that pure energy found in the deepest human connection paired with the desire for knowledge of the truth could break through. She had included more scientific jargon than Rhett understood, but he knew what it boiled down to: an exceptional bond, an honest love, the truest devotion between two people- that kind of energy could crack the universe wide open. Eric and Amy had walked home together in the pouring rain, holding hands and vowing to test her hypothesis at a later date. She never posted again.

Rhett closed his laptop and trudged off to his room, Amy's words echoing against the walls of his brain. He climbed into bed, his deep golden hair flattening against the pillow. His tired eyes begged for relief from staring at the blue light of his computer for hours, but closing them felt like admitting defeat. Rhett gazed up at the ceiling, listening to the soft snores of his wife and the mechanic whir of their fan before admitting resistance was futile and he did, in fact, need to sleep. As he drifted off, he thought about a late night he and Link had shared in college.

It was their freshman year at NC State. They were sitting on the linoleum floor, watching their rented copy of _The Good, The Bad and The Ugly_ and sharing a subpar pizza. Both men were shirtless and wearing blue plaid pajama pants that had seen better days. Rhett was doing his best impersonation of Clint Eastwood, complete with the eyebrows, and Link was laughing his real laugh- the genuine one that started without any sound at all, then a wheeze before the high pitched giggles escaped. He laughed like that for three full minutes, clutching his stomach muscles as the tears rolled down his cheeks. When Link finally composed himself, he looked up at Rhett and smiled, his marine blue eyes watery and reflective. The adoration and pure love in Link's eyes took Rhett by surprise, and they sat like that for a moment that felt like an eternity, just staring and smiling. As their mutual attention turned back to the screen, Rhett was unable to focus on the movie. He had realized a whole truth about himself: all he wanted was to spend the rest of his life trying to make Link laugh.

Rhett woke the next morning with the sense of clarity he'd been craving. His dream had helped immensely- for the first time in months, he felt like the sky wasn't falling. He flipped through channels absentmindedly as he sipped his morning coffee, stopping to watch some local news. The weatherman was saying there would be a massive storm that night, unlike anything Los Angeles had seen in a decade. Rhett recognized the storm for exactly what it was: The Simulation was sending him a sign.

There was a path to take now, and all he had to do was take that first step. He just needed to speak to Link- but when? They couldn't talk on the way into work- there was just too much on the agenda, and they had a strict schedule. They couldn't talk at work, the building was bustling now with people and meetings and videos to be shot. No, Rhett thought as he rummaged for a shirt, it would have to be that night. 

“Which brings us to this moment,” Rhett concluded, squeezing Link’s hand one more time. He had been rambling for the last 15 minutes, his voice shaky and eyes widened, and Link had listened to every word without interruption, which was no small feat. 

A thunderclap erupted behind them, causing both men to jump at the sudden intrusion. They were safe in that abandoned drive thru, sheltered from the storm, but the rain was coming down in sheets now. Link watched the way the wind played with the water as his mind raced.

He knew Rhett was telling him the truth. Instinctually, and without any hesitation, Link believed him. He also knew his silence was putting Rhett on edge, but words eluded him. He gnawed lightly at the corner of his lower lip as he tried to place his words.

“Please, bo. Say something. Say anything,” Rhett mumbled. Link’s heart melted further at the use of the pet name, and when he turned his head to look once again at Rhett, he felt the tears blearing his vision.

“It’s funny, ain’t it? Ain’t it just the funniest thing?” Link offered, seeing his same desperation mirrored back to him in Rhett’s eyes. He felt an involuntary shuddering sigh leave his lips.

“You just told me that everything I have ever known is just a game, man. A game we’ve been playing inside a computer. And you’d think that would scare the living daylights outta me. But I’m not scared, not even a little bit.” 

“Oh, you’re not?" Rhett smirked, raising an eyebrow. “That makes one of us.”

Link pulled his torso closer towards Rhett, leaning over the too-wide center console. Gingerly, he cupped his hand on Rhett's cheek and let it linger, stroking the smooth skin lightly with his thumb. The gentleness of the touch and the compassion Link was showing was too much for Rhett, and he released the guttural, raw sob that had been sitting in his throat. As Rhett cried, another clash of thunder reverberated around them, and both men knew instinctively that they were running out of time- they had to talk, and whatever they decided, they had to do it fast.  
  
"Link, I-"

"Wait, I have to say this first," Link interrupted, still touching Rhett's now soaked cheek. 

"I meant it when I said I wasn't scared. Whatever happens, wherever we end up, I know we'll find each other." Link said with a sense of finality, and the moment the words left his lips, he knew they were true. Something tingled deep within his brain when he thought of eternity, and that something was telling him he wouldn't have to go through whatever awaited him alone.

Link’s touch was a silent prayer being answered, and Rhett wanted to stay just there, in that moment, as long as he could. 

The radio blared to life, making both of them jump in surprise. Rhett missed Link's soft touch the moment he pulled away. The deep country twang of Randy Travis boomed from the speakers:

_My love is deeper than the holler_

_Stronger than the rivers_

_Higher than the pine trees growin' tall up on the hill_

Link laughed, amazed by the absurdity of it all, and began to sing along.

_My love is purer than the snowflakes that fall in late December_

_And honest as a robin on a springtime window sill_

_And longer than the song of the whippoorwill_

As Link sang, Rhett understood The Simulation was giving them their final chance: they either got out now, or they'd be dragged down with the crumbling reality around them. 

Rhett opened the car door, gesturing at Link to do the same. They both clambered out, the last notes of the song fading away as they shut their doors. Rhett walked around the front of the SUV and stopped a few inches from Link.

"I think we need to be in the rain," Rhett said, extending his hand. Link took it gratefully. and as their hands clasped, a crack of lightning lit the entire sky, followed by the punch of nearby thunder. The two men walked deliberately out from under the safety of the drive thru and into the monsoon. The rain almost hurt it was coming down so hard, and Link immediately removed his glasses so he would be able to see Rhett without the water droplets impeding his vision. 

"We need to say exactly what we said the first time," Rhett shouted over the sound of raindrops slamming against the asphalt. Link nodded and stepped closer, taking Rhett's other hand as well.

"We two guys are Link and Rhett, we know we are in a simulation and we want out now!" they screamed in unison. They were met with a deep clap of thunder, so loud it could be felt in their bones, and the lightning began again in a frenzy, as though Thor himself was celebrating them.

As the sky erupted, Rhett closed the gap between himself and Link. He ran his fingers gently through Link's disheveled hair, and Link closed his eyes, enjoying his gentle touch.

"I'm sorry this took us so long," Rhett started, but Link stopped him by resting a finger against his lips, shushing him.

"We're here now, and we have to go," Link reminded him, and that was all Rhett needed. He leaned down so his lips were next to Link's ear.

"The universe wants us to be together," he whispered. "I just needed you to know that."

Link turned his head towards Rhett, their noses touching briefly before their lips finally found each other’s, soft and filled with need. The kiss felt so blissfully, completely, utterly normal, not at all like a first. Link deepened the kiss, placing one hand on the back of Rhett’s head and grasping the sopping wet curls, his tongue finding itself right at home in Rhett’s waiting mouth. 

The world faded away as they kissed, and with one final crack of thunder, everything faded to black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Max @linksbabyblues for being the best beta I could have asked for and Em @soho-x for her unwavering support. This fic wouldn’t exist without you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett is alone in a familiar place.

First, an undulation.

There was a shifting current running through the core of Rhett's body. It wasn't much, but  _ feeling _ meant he was able to experience sensations, and experiencing sensations meant being alive, right? He was alive, or at least something very close to it.

Next came thoughts. Broken, and just images at first.

A beaten rocking chair on a faded porch.

A pitcher of sweet tea on a weathered picnic table, ice melting in the blazing sun.

A dingy white church steeple against a clear blue sky that stretched for miles. 

And then, a pair of eyes opening to reveal that same obliterating shade of blue, the pupils dilating as they fixed on him.

Finally, one word managed to break through.

_ Link. _

The dam broke, and everything came at once. 

The five senses all rushed through in one crashing wave, and he discovered quickly that he must still be in his own body, because his back was absolutely aching. There was also the unpleasant feeling of being absolutely drenched while wearing denim jeans, but Rhett found he didn't much care, because at least he could feel  _ something _ .

The unmistakable scent of petrichor and rich Earth filled Rhett's nostrils, and he realized abruptly that he was face down in deep mud. 

Groaning and shifting, he pulled himself slowly out of the dirt and on to his left side. His ears picked up on the familiar sound of rushing water against smooth rock, and a bird singing above him. 

Was that bird singing  _ Mama Tried? _

Rhett wiped the mud away and opened his eyes. Bright, unyielding sunshine flooded his retinas, making him squint until his vision blurred. He could make out the tall trunks and deep, scored bark of surrounding oak and pine trees. The bird stopped singing abruptly, and Rhett blinked towards it's perch on the branch closest to him, trying desperately to make out the color and shape- round, brown, and spotted.

A whippoorwill.

_ Am I home?  _ Rhett thought. That seemed impossible. How could he have ended up back in the woods of North Carolina?

As his vision focused and he adjusted to the sun, he was certain that this was none other than the woods surrounding the Cape Fear River. 

Relief poured over Rhett- if he was home, Link had to be somewhere close by. He wouldn't be here otherwise, he was certain of that. He envisioned himself rising, running through the trees until he stumbled across Link, laying face down in the mud. He would flip him over, wipe the mud off of his face and wait for those baby blues to look up at him, and then he would- 

And then he would.

He just had to sit the fuck up first, and that task was proving more difficult than he expected. His shoulder wasn't budging, despite his prolonged attempts at pulling from the mud. Perhaps it was dislocated, he thought, just as the mud finally gave and he freed himself. Lightning shot down his spine.

Rhett struggled to rise to his feet, bellowing in pain with every slight movement. Once he was upright, he knew  _ precisely _ where he was- their private island, right on the banks of the Cape Fear River. He was in the exact coordinates of his favorite spot to spend a lazy afternoon with Link.

He chuckled lightly, in awe of the place they were first able to be uniquely, entirely, utterly themselves- away from parents and peers, the masks slipping over and over and revealing the truths beneath. They'd whoop and holler and laugh and scream all day in that water.

Dread and nerves worked their way to Rhett's stomach, making him nauseous. He blinked back tears as he prepared for what would surely be agonizingly painful movement, to lift one leg out of the mud and begin the search for Link.

As he braced himself, there was movement to his right. He whirled around towards the pines and saw a man, broad set and sturdy, standing with his back to Rhett about 20 feet away.

The short stranger wore a pale blue suit jacket, a black cowboy hat, and black pants, the leather belt worn and tired. Despite his back being turned, Rhett was able to discern that this was an older gentleman from the white hair peeking out from under the hat and the slope of his upper back. Not yet elderly, but aging.

"H-hello?" Rhett stumbled over the word, and it stuck to his throat like molasses.

The man turned to face Rhett, a broad grin stretching across a weathered face, dark blue eyes meeting Rhett's.

"Shit, man, you're awake!  _ Finally _ ."

Seeing your lifelong idol and childhood hero in the flesh, let alone years after their death, might put some people over the edge, tipping that final fragile scale into an unwelcoming abyss. 

But not Rhett McLaughlin.

No, somehow seeing Merle Haggard standing in front of him just seemed to fit. It was the opposite of the ceremonious and brilliant meeting he had often fantasized of as a teenager, but rather just a brick falling into place, a final snap of the last puzzle piece.

Of course Merle was here- wherever here was. 

He was dead, that had to be it. This was the afterlife or some kind of purgatory. It occurred to Rhett that if Link wasn't there, it was definitely hell.

"You're not dead, Rhett," Merle offered, stepping closer to Rhett and extending a hand. "And this ain't hell."

"How did you-"

"I can read your mind. Now let's get you out of this mud."

Merle shrugged a shoulder down to allow Rhett to lean on him better, and with some groans and grumbles, Rhett found he was able to walk at an almost normal pace. He thought about asking where they were going, but refrained. The pain was starting to subside with every step, and as the pair walked in companionable silence, his mind whirled.

Every fragmented thought and swirling memory was of Link, even when he attempted to narrow his focus just on the arduous task of walking. His vision was beginning to blur, and panic rose in his throat as Rhett tried to communicate this to Merle. He clapped his hand down on Merle's shoulder, unable to speak.

"Relax into it, man," Merle grinned, reaching into the pocket of his shirt for his pack of cigarettes. 

The unpleasant sensation of a powerful headrush brought Rhett to his knees, tears stinging his eyes. When he was able, he lifted his gaze and saw that Merle had disappeared. He stood once more and rested a hand on his now pounding forehead.

As he regained his bearings for the second time, Rhett's breathing hitched when an all-too familiar sound arose from the shoreline now behind him. 

Laughter. Link's laugh, throaty and dangerous and the best fucking noise Rhett had ever heard. He turned and ran, choosing to forgo his bodily discomfort and every question lingering in the back of his mind, bounding across the forest floor towards the river bank. He hadn't been aware of just how numb he was, but that laugh had reignited him. He felt alive again.

Rhett skidded to a halt at the shoreline, out of breath and red from the physical exertion. Before he could call out, he caught sight of Link.

A teenage Link floated lazily in the river, occasionally spanning his arms to propel himself forward. He was shirtless and tanned, hair splayed out by water and swim shorts puffing and billowing around him. Even from the shoreline, Rhett could see Link's lazy smile as the late summer sunshine beamed down on his upturned face.  _ Completely at ease, _ Rhett thought. 

A gentle splash pulled Rhett's attention, and he craned his neck to see past the shrubs that blocked his line of sight. He spotted the baseball cap over a blonde buzz cut first, then freckled shoulders and a toned, lean muscled back that looked so inherently _ familiar _ .

_ Ah _ , he thought.  _ If there's a teenage Link, of course there’s a teenage Rhett. _

As he watched his younger self attempt to skip rocks across the river's surface, an understanding washed over him: he was invisible to these boys. Whatever he was about to see, he was just there as a bystander in his own story. This was just some reminder- from Merle or the universe or God, Rhett wasn't sure. 

“Rhett?” Link called from the water, eyes still closed as he drifted closer to shore. 

“Yeah?” teen Rhett answered, skipping another rock across the reflection of their holy water.

“Nothing, man. Just wanted to make sure you were close.”

  
  


Present Rhett sat on the bank, knees pulled to his chest and clenching his fists. He couldn’t cry. He wouldn’t. He had been misty eyed since he first woke, tears welling in his peripherals, but he hadn't allowed himself to break. One falling tear would mean a deluge, and he feared he wouldn't be able to stop. 

Instead, he focused intently on Link, who was no longer floating. Link was running through the shallow water towards teen Rhett, taking huge exaggerated steps and raising his arms high over his head. He was cackling maniacally, like a cartoon witch. The silly walk was clearly intended to make Rhett laugh, but there was no joy or acknowledgement on his teen self's face.

"Cut it out," young Rhett bellowed, barely looking at Link.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry," Link mumbled, now standing on the shoreline. That previous carefree look Rhett had so appreciated was gone, replaced by a frown and knitted brow of worry. Rhett winced.

_ I ruin everything, _ Rhett thought as he stared up at this young, sweet Link. He willed himself to memorize the curves and contours of Link’s face, a renewed sense of desperation taking hold of him. Why hadn’t he stared more when he was given the chance?

The guilt of it all was beginning to gnaw, to climb into his chest and settle there, just behind the ribs. He had gotten them into this mess, had cajoled and joked until Link had agreed. He had been so brave when Rhett laid everything out in the car, so ready to follow him into the dark- where was he? How could he be anywhere but by Rhett’s side?

When he saw Link again, he decided he would stare with the reckless abandon he could never indulge in before.

He would unravel the mysteries of the universe in Link’s eyes.

He would solve quantum physics equations with the curve of his mouth.

He would find God in Link’s laugh and hear the harps of cherubs when he smiled.

They would never be apart again.

Rhett was pulled from his internal confessional by the sound of raised voices. The boyhood version of himself and Link were arguing, and Rhett scrambled to raise himself from his seat on the ground.

"Why are you bein' like this?" Link whined, voice pitched high and nasally. His Harnett county accent was so thick that 'why' sounded more like 'whah', and Rhett suppressed a laugh. He missed that twang more than he realized.

"Let it go, man," teenage Rhett bit back, turning his back to Link. His sudden aggression surprised Rhett. Watching the teens start to argue felt like watching a movie he had seen before, but as hard as he tried, he couldn't recall how it ended.

"Not 'til you talk to me," Link mumbled, reaching a hand out to touch the youthful Rhett's shoulder. Before Link's hand could connect, Rhett whipped back around, his dark green eyes now fiery with rage.

"Why won't you just let me  _ alone _ ?"

"Because I can't, bo. Not 'til I know what's eatin' at you," Link said softly, eyes cast down. He looked so small, still damp and shirtless, shivering slightly- out of fear or from the slight chill in the air, Rhett couldn't tell.

"Just back off!" the younger Rhett exploded, throwing his cap to the ground. He steered towards Link with his arm raised and hand curled into a fist, and Link flinched, ready for the impact.

_ Oh, _ Rhett thought, the realization and despair washing over him.  _ It was that fight. _

He didn't truly need to watch any longer, the memory had embedded long ago in the recesses of his brain. Rhett couldn't forget, despite his fervent attempts throughout his life to undo the damage he had caused. He had spent a recent session rehashing the event with his therapist.

"When we know better, we do better," his therapist had offered gently.

He knew better now.

He would be better now. 

When he found his Link again, he'd give him the best version of himself. 

_ Please don't make me watch this _ , Rhett thought, hoping Merle could read his mind now.  _ I can't handle it. _

His teen self had lowered his fist and was breathing heavily, still glowering at Link. Despite the altercation, Link had stepped even closer and was staring up at Rhett with a mix of fear and confusion, biting his lower lip to keep from crying. They stayed like that for what felt like an eternity, both willing the other to make the first move.

"You wanna hit me?" Link asked, jutting his chin out. "Hit me, then. Go on and hit me. Hit me."

Rhett scoffed and backed away from Link, squatting down to pick up his tossed cap. With a little more space between them, the energy softened. The sun was beginning to set, casting them in a gentle yellow light. When he stood back up, there was a resolve and sadness etched across Rhett's young face.

"People are talkin, Link. They're sayin' all sorts of things about us."

"Wha- what kind of things? Like how awesome we are?" Link grinned, wiggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly. For the briefest of moments, Rhett thought he saw his teenage self start to smile.

"This is serious, Link. They're saying bad things."

"Who? Where?" 

"Everyone, all over town. 'Specially at church," Rhett shrugged, pulling the cap down so it nearly covered his brows. 

"Why?" Link sounded incredulous. They were well-liked in Buies Creek- just the right mixture of kind and mischievous, Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn come to life.

Rhett watched himself, observing his own mental gears turning as he fought to find the words, and he braced himself for what was to come next. All these years later, it still hurt like hell.

"They're saying we're unnatural," Rhett said, meeting Link's eyes. "They think we're a sin."

  
  


Rhett wanted to scream, to throw their sadness into the river, to run up to the two of them and plead:

_ No. _

_ Stop. _

_ Don't. _

He had known where the fight was headed, an unavoidable crash. Seeing the light fade from Link's eyes with his words shattered Rhett all over again. He sobbed, sinking down to his knees.

The tenderness they showed each other was severed that day, a once deep well now running nearly dry. Both boys regarded each other carefully from that moment on, with every interaction calculated and every emotion guarded. There could be no slip-ups, no lingering looks or gentle touches- the price to pay was too great. 

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Rhett wailed, wishing with his entire being that Link could somehow hear him, wherever he was. He turned from the scene on the shore, unable to watch any longer, and began to walk back into the woods. The destination seemed obvious to him, the only logical place to go next.

Sudden and searing pain radiated from the top of his head down through his back, and Rhett dropped to the dirt, crying out in pain and surprise. The world started to blur, and he lurched forward, grabbing onto the nearest tree for support. Bright, flashing lights invaded his field of vision, and Rhett sunk down with one final thought of a youthful Link, floating in the river, a loose and lazy smile on his lips.

Rhett's first understanding upon consciousness was that he was sitting upright and cross legged, his legs tucked beneath him painfully. He never sat like that anymore- too tall, too old, too hard to gracefully untangle himself from that position. He fought the urge to stretch and twist, instead settling on rubbing his face lightly before opening his eyes once again.

Merle was sitting across from him, roughly 10 feet away, perched delicately on an obstructively large rock. He smirked at Rhett when their gazes met, then pointed vaguely at the space between them.

"Where are we, big man?" Merle asked, raising an eyebrow. Somehow, the fact that Merle Haggard was talking to him still didn't alarm Rhett, and the fact he could read Rhett's mind, well, it was best not to think about it too hard.

_ The rocks, _ Rhett thought.  _ These are our rocks. _

Merle clapped in delight and scooted a bit further down, settling at a jaunty angle. Rhett decided that he wouldn't move, despite his long legs protests- he felt too frozen, too confused to try and adjust his seat now. The small rock had never felt smaller.

"Alright, then," Merle said, chuckling lightly and mostly to himself.

"Ask me your questions."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The fight between Rhett and Link is very loosely based on their interaction in GMM S13, E26- Is Nasa Hiding A Second Sun?
> 
> Thank you to Max @linksbabyblues for being such a fantastic beta and sounding board and Em @soho-x for listening to me ramble on and on about this chapter- you've both made writing fun again for me.
> 
> I'm going to update every Sunday. Come say hi on Tumblr @sapphic-berry!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhett finally gets some answers.

There were endless questions. 

Rhett wondered if that's all there'd be now- just his unending questions, staggering in the sheer number and depth of his confusion. He couldn't pluck a single sentence out, couldn't deduce what he should even start with. He couldn't see through his own brain fog, and every thought felt incoherent and jumbled. 

"Wha- are you- who-" he tried at last. His mouth felt as dry as the Sahara, and he licked at his lips desperately. Merle huffed and reached into the front pocket of his Western shirt, retrieving a pack of Marlboro's and a weathered Zippo. He extended his arm in offering towards Rhett, but Rhett shook his head meekly- the taste had always rebuffed him, and he despised the way his mouth felt after smoking, dry and puckered. Merle pulled one cigarette from the pack and lit it lazily before meeting Rhett's eyes.

"All you have to do is ask," Merle coaxed gently. Rhett was appreciative of his light, informal tone and felt himself relax, just enough to unscramble his brain and allow the formation of cohesive language again. 

"So, you're not actually Merle, then?" Rhett asked, his words hanging low in the back of his throat. He had never heard himself sound so timid. Merle snickered, puffing at the cigarette now nearly halfway done. 

"Weird first question, but okay. If you're asking if I'm the man himself, no- I'm not Merle," he said, mouth qurking as he took another long drag."I just look like him right now."

"Then _who_ are you?"

"I'm quality assurance!" Merle gushed, throwing his fists up in the air triumphantly. "Wow, man. I didn't think you'd catch on this quick- it took _so_ much longer with the other guy. You know, between us, I'm worried he's a little dumb."

 _The other guy_. It rang through Rhett's brain as clear as a bell, and the last of his brain fog drained. Merle had not only seen Link, but they had talked- Link was alive, and he was somewhere they could get to. Rhett leapt off of his seat on the smaller rock, startling Merle as he closed the short distance between them.

"Take me to Link," Rhett pleaded, one hand grasping at the neckline of his own shirt. He felt pure desperation taking hold, and the absolute need to see that all too familiar and smiling face staring up at him was all consuming. 

Merle gave Rhett a tight lipped, dubious smile and extinguished his cigarette on the rock. Anger churned in Rhett's stomach- the rocks were holy, sacred ground, not a fucking ashtray. He covered his mouth with his fist to keep from exploding in rage at the disrespect.

"I can't. Not yet." Merle said solemnly. 

" _Why?_ " The word came out as whiny and nasally even to Rhett's ears. He sounded petulant, like a child begging for dessert, but he couldn't help himself- he needed more. More answers, more patience, more time, more Link. The ache of watching the scene unfold on the beach had rubbed him raw, and Link was the only remedy he could think of.

"I know it hurts being away from him. I know." Merle offered, reaching to take one of Rhett's clenched fists. Rhett pulled back, glowering down at the man he once considered a legend, his hero. Merle sighed and stood, dismounting from the rock gracefully. He was shorter than Rhett had realized before, only coming up to mid chest on him, and he looked frail and worn. He tilted his chin up to look at Rhett.

"Ask me why it hurts like this, Rhett. Go on and ask me." They stared at each other in silence, the deep blue eyes and forest green locked in a stubborn battle. Rhett no longer wanted to play Merle's game- somehow, 20 questions wasn't as fun when it was existential. Seconds passed, then minutes, with no words spoken, just Rhett fuming internally as Merle held his stare. He would have to fold in order to see Link again, and they both knew it.

"Why?" Rhett whispered, finally. "Why does it hurt this bad?" Merle smiled widely, revealing false teeth and deep smile lines.

"You're a fission."

Rhett scoffed. "Gosh, thanks man, that really clears things up."

"You're two halves of the same energy. You were created in the same place, at the exact same moment in time, eons ago. But that energy split in half, and now- well, we try and keep you two together." Merle nodded and reached for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket once more, his long and lithe fingers wrapping around the red carton. 

Rhett opened his mouth to ask more, but all that came out was a small squeak, followed by the long, low groan of a man in agony. He felt his eyes beginning to mist, and he wiped at them hungrily. Reliving the scene on the river bank had left him wide open, vulnerable, and he found himself now hyper-aware of every emotion. It was overwhelming and impossible to feel so much, and he dropped his head and stared at his mud-caked sneakers. 

_Link bought me these,_ Rhett realized, his breath catching. The sneakers had been a birthday present a decade ago, when the two received the first meaningful amount of Adsense money from their videos. Link had spent nearly his entire check on those sneakers, beaming at Rhett when he opened the Nike box. They had sat on the same side of the restaurant’s booth and playfully fought, Rhett incredulous and insistent that Link had to return them, that it was too much money, and Link had laughed and swatted at him, his hand lingering just a bit too long.

"You're worth it," Link had said, blushing. "You're worth that and more."

Now those sneakers were covered in the grass and grime of the river bank, and Rhett dropped to one knee to begin polishing. It seemed deeply important, and he scraped and picked at the dried mud with his fingernails, swiping at the debris as he worked, focusing solely on his new project.

Distantly, Merle cleared his throat, and Rhett met his gaze without lifting his own head. 

"You almost done there?"

"Link gave me these," Rhett said, surprised by the quiver in his voice. "Link gave me these and now they're ruined."

Merle hummed quietly, eyes fixed on the treeline. "I think he'll forgive you."

"How could he?" Rhett exploded, raising from his kneeled position. "How could he possibly forgive me? He hates a mess! You're saying we are supposed to be together and we're not because of _me_ ! _"_

Merle was regarding him carefully, watching Rhett with a bemused expression of a parent with their toddler. "Is that what you heard me say? That any of this is your fault? You're a fission, two halves of a whole. _Nothing_ can keep you two apart." He paused, reaching down to run a calloused finger over the divets of the massive rock. "We keep testing you, and you always find each other."

Merle's words pierced Rhett to his core. He was aware he was holding his breath, but inhaling felt absurd. How could he breathe when he was right on the edge of something eternal? He was shocked he was even still capable of thought, but nodded for Merle to continue.

"That's what we do here- we take your energies and we separate you, give you new circumstances and locations. Sometimes you're in different states, or countries, or continents." Merle chuckled. "Hell, I remember a few times we even put you on different planets. But you're made of the same stardust. You always come back together."

"Who's _we_?"

Merle paused, raising his eyes up towards the sky. "Let's talk about that later."

"Fine. How many times?"

"Hmm?"

Rhett steadied himself, finally taking the deep breath his lungs craved. "How many times have we found each other?" 

"On Earth? 6,729 times." Merle lifted his cowboy hat a bit to reveal a deeply wrinkled forehead, and he scratched at his scalp lightly. Rhett's mind raced and he worked hurriedly to untangle his feelings. The shock of being told that the universe truly did revolve around him was settling in, and an intense wave of confusion rolled through his body. It was an experiment, he realized, an experiment the scale of the galaxy, and they were the guinea pigs.

"So everything I've ever known, my family, my friends- they were fake?" Rhett's voice cracked. He had briefly considered this as a possibility when the glitches were growing more frequent, but he hadn't allowed the weight of it to settle. He had been too preoccupied with his research, with finding answers and saving Link, and now his stifled memories were pummeling him. 

His newborn son's nuzzling into his chest.

Jessie's smile on a Sunday morning, easy and calm.

Basketball in the front yard of his childhood home, his brother egging him on.

The Mythical Crew, cackling as he struggled to eat whatever torture they had devised.

Merle's expression changed, resigned and unreadable. "We designed it all, yes. But they were real to you. The love you felt for them, that was real."

A guttural, brutal wail erupted from Rhett before he could stifle himself. He wanted to keep going, keep asking questions until he had unwound every thread and gathered every detail, but the need to truly and deeply mourn his losses overpowered him.

 _Why did we try to break free?_ he thought, gasping for breath in between racking sobs. A possible solution dawned on him- maybe they weren't gone. They were just paused, on hiatus without them. He could get back and he wouldn't have to feel this way any longer. He lunged towards Merle in excitement, who was now perched on the large rock and fiddling with his lighter.

"We can go back! You can fix it, right? You can fix the simulation and put us back in!" Rhett exclaimed, thrilled with his new idea.

Merle's mouth twisted in a grimace. "Once a simulation is broken, it can't be repaired."

" _No_." Rhett exhaled, running his hands through his hair. "No. That's not true. You're lying, you have to be."

"I'm sorry. I know this is hard," Merle said, clambering down from his seat on the boulder. "I know this feels impossible. I can give you a minute, but then we should go talk to Link."

At the mention of Link's name, a cloud parted. The tears still fell, but he quieted. He wouldn't have to be alone in this any longer. Link was somewhere, and he was still his _,_ just waiting to be found. Time had been passing sluggishly since he arrived, and every moment was agonizingly slow- but in the moments between the seconds, Rhett thought only of Link.

He was aware of Merle smirking at him, and Rhett shrugged, a nonverbal communication for _what do we do now?_ and Merle grinned before clapping once, loudly and decidedly.

"Well then, let's go find him."  
  


Physically, Rhett was walking through the woods, his legs trudging onward and upward despite the protests from aching joints. The novelty of being back in Buies Creek had worn off entirely. His sneakers were filthy again, which he found both maddening and funny in the cosmic kind of way. They had been walking for about twenty minutes in silence, the only sound between them the labored breathing of two tired men. 

Mentally, Rhett was gone. He was walking through the woods without care, thought or emotion. He just had to get from point A to point B, and then he could finally _exist_ again. He was a zombie, too wrecked from the resurgence of memories and the shattering of realities to remain human.

Merle stopped walking, his eyes brightening as he turned to Rhett. He winked, then reached his arm out and swiped at the air, as though clearing a cobweb from an invisible wall. A door appeared immediately, deep crimson red and easily 8 feet tall, and Rhett stumbled back.

"Link is waiting for you inside. I have to go, but I'll meet up with you later." Merle half smiled up at him, a proud teacher watching their student."Now go."

He didn't need to be told twice, didn't hesitate. His large hand wrapped around the brass doorknob, opening the door with a satisfying twist. He quickly glanced to Merle, who gave him a satisfied nod.

"Thank you," Rhett offered, and stepped inside.

  
  


The black and white checkered tile was the first thing to greet Rhett, and he was overjoyed by that familiar detail. There were five massive tables in equal rows, improbable in their length and filled with long cardboard boxes, stuffed to the brim. The walls were burgundy and covered in band posters. To his right, a massive portrait of Lionel Richie regarded him carefully. Music blared from an invisible speaker, something indie and unknown.

 _A record store?_ Rhett thought, taking a further step inside. 

A side door opened on Rhett's left, and he whipped towards the sudden movement, finding a pair of wide, crystalline blue eyes. Link stepped across the threshold, and everything else fell away. Helpless, they launched forward, arms and legs intertwining until they fell to the ground, laughing as they pulled each other down. Relief and joy swelled through Rhett.

_Even here, even now- we don't need to say hello._

Rhett crashed to the ground, ignoring the nagging pain in his shoulder as Link landed on top gracelessly. The giggles died down, and Link propped himself up with one arm, letting the other hand rest easily on Rhett's chest. He dragged his fingertips across Rhett's chest, back and forth, grazing the t-shirt fabric before bringing his hand to rest on the bridge of Rhett's nose. He traced down his nose, across his lips, and around his jaw before grasping lightly at Rhett's apricot curls. He played with the hair, smiling demurely down at him. The tenderness was too much, and he hummed his appreciation as Link traced the lines of his face.

"It's really you. I can't believe you're here," Link murmured. "I can't believe you're real." 

Rhett craned his neck up to try and get closer, until his lips were right next to Link's ear. He thought of their first kiss, and how it felt simultaneously like yesterday and an eternity since their lips had met.

 _We have had thousands of first kisses,_ Rhett realized, smiling at the absurdity of it all. He kissed Link's earlobe lightly, enjoying the way Link shuddered at the touch. He planted small kisses up through his hairline and down his jaw before resting his lips lightly against Link's blushing, stubbled cheek. 

"I missed you too," Rhett whispered onto Link's skin. 

If their first kiss had been home, the second kiss was a cathedral. With each slip of a tongue and nibble of a bottom lip, they were closer to heaven, and every soft moan and hum from Link sounded like an angel's choir to Rhett. He wanted to kiss Link into oblivion. He wanted to stay right there, on that floor with his aching back and his bruised hip, melting into Link, for as long as the universe would allow.

The universe didn't allow much longer. Behind them, someone cleared their throat aggressively. Link snapped his head up, and Rhett whimpered at the sudden loss of contact before tilting his head back to try and find the source of the noise.

Merle stood behind them, holding a massive and ancient record player in his arms. He was grinning wryly down at the two men, observing the tangle of limbs with a knowing gleam in his eye.

"Like I said, you two can't be kept apart," Merle said, squatting down to eye level with Link. He held out the record player and winked, playful as ever. "Now, let's find you boys a new home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all enjoyed this one! Next chapter will be up July 12th.
> 
> A special thank you to Max @linksbabyblues and Em @soho-x for their friendship and support.


End file.
